Running With Nut Jobs

The Golden Squirrel 2011

2012-01-02T06:55:00.001-05:00

As you have probably noticed, I have not yet announced the winner of the 2011 Nutjob Of The Year.

Through injuries and laziness and other assorted excuses, I haven't spent as much time with my favorite nutjobs in 2011 as I would have liked.

As a result, it is hard to know who is the most deserving of this prestigious award.

How can you judge those you do not see?

So for the 2011 Nutjob of the Year award I am asking for nominations.

Using the comments field of this blog, please submit the name of your nominee, and in 25 words or less, explain why they are worthy of the almighty squirrel.

And yes, you can nominate yourself if you like. As Benjamin Franklin said, "God helps those who help themselves."

The nominees will be posted in next week's blog with a decision made the following week.

May the spirit of the golden squirrel be with you wherever you run.

Bob Ivory Race

2011-11-07T10:02:00.000-05:00

It was a beautiful, sunny morning in November for the 33rd Annual Bob Ivory 5k at St. Joe's. It is a Buffalo News Runner Of The Year race that is always well attended.

Running - It's all about friendship,

the quest for excellence

and of course, the sneakers.

The Ghost Master

2011-10-30T10:17:00.000-04:00

It was the night before Halloween.

Scott ran along the canal in the dark, trusting his flashing clip-on light to keep any distracted motorists from running him over. He kept a more powerful flashlight in his pocket, in case of fog.

He had the street to himself. "Legend of the Ghostmaster Effect"was what Scott dubbed the empty streets on this rare, warm October night.

Many years ago a hated postmaster of the local post office was found floating in the canal, the night before Halloween, face down.

The police called it accidental drowning but there were whispers of murder.

Suspects - almost everyone that knew him. He was not well liked.

Every Halloween Eve since, there were reports of ghost sightings along the canal. It was said to be the postmaster come back to seek vengeance against his murderer. As the years went by the legend of the Ghostmaster grew.

But Scott didn't believe in ghost stories.

He listened to the sound of his sneakers hitting the pavement as he enjoyed his solitary run. Thump thump. Thump thump. Like a pendulum, perfect rhythm. But then his clip-on light went off.

Annoyed, he hit it with his hand but it stayed dark.

Suddenly there was a wooshing sound from above. Scott felt the wind twirl around him as the wooshing grew louder.

The wind rushed in at him as a wave crashed out of the canal and soaked him from head to toe.

Wait a minute, thought Scott. Canals don't have waves.

He stopped running and stood still, feeling the cold water dripping off of him. Something was very wrong.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a dark shadow coming down at him. Fast.

Before he could move, the wet, slimy being circled around him and thundered into the back of his knees, sending him sprawling painfully to the ground.

He felt like he was underwater. He struggled to catch his breath. He was on land but he was drowning.

He flailed his arms in a wild, desperate attempt to get air but something was holding him down. His hand bumped the powerful flashlight in his pocket, tripping it on.

A scream of pain came from the air as Scott was suddenly released from the horrible drowning feeling.

Scott sat on the ground, dazed, searching the area around him with his powerful beam of light. He watched in horror as he saw the ghostmaster fade away into the depths of the canal.

When Scott's heart finally stopped racing he gingerly got up off the ground and keeping his flashlight on, began a painful jog back home, vowing never to run on Halloween Eve again.

Happy Halloween

Ninja Running

2011-10-09T07:05:00.000-04:00

Legendary Ninja Warrior, Baba Da Rahto, learned early the importance of running quietly.

To be invisible in a race cannot be overemphasized.

So how does one run quietly?

If there are stairs involved in the race, keep close to the wall and go on your toes only. Even better get on all fours while ascending or descending, if you can do it unnoticed.

Distribute your weight evenly.

Softly touch the ground, mid-foot, engaging the calf muscles for strength and stabilization.

Develop a habit of being constantly aware of your movements throughout the day. When you hear yourself doing something, find out the cause of the noise and try it again more quietly.

As you continue to train, you will become more aware of your body and it's noises. Remember the creed of the Ninja Runner -

Train hard and run soundlessly.

Rain

2011-10-02T07:46:00.000-04:00

Yesterday it rained. Today it is raining. Tomorrow they are calling for rain.

A few weeks ago, I was struggling in the heat as we finished what should have been an easy four miler.

Today it is 42 degrees out.

Yeah, hard to believe, but it's time once again to delve into the running closet and haul out the Cold Weather gear.

Because we all know what's coming next.

Sand

2011-09-25T07:25:00.000-04:00

.It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out - it's the grain of sand in your shoe.
Robert Service

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.
Steven Wright

While out for a run on the tow path we spotted the Cannibal at the One Mile Marker. He was staring down at his hands, mesmerized.

What was he up to now?

Using our Ninja running skills we moved swiftly and silently to where he was resting (Nutjob Ebook Ninja Running Skills coming out soon).

Upon a closer look we saw what was holding his attention.

Cupped in his hands was a granular material composed of finely divided rock and mineral particles.

It was sand.

When he saw us he hid his guilt with a smile and let the sand trickle discretely through his fingers.

The Cannibal is a crafty one.

But what did it mean?

What was he thinking?

What was he planning?

Only time will tell.

Ravaged By The Beast

2011-08-26T12:02:00.002-04:00

The Beast of Burden Summer 100 Ultra Marathon

The day started off innocently enough. Baba and the Cannibal were happy to snag a picnic table in the shade right next to where we had parked our vehicles.

As it turned out, the shade by our picnic table was the last we would see for the day.

It is wide open along the canal. There are no overhanging trees to duck under or paths that lead you through the cool woods for awhile. You are at the suns August mercy.

Blisters, sun poisoning, dehydration, you name it, we got it.

But one of the nice things about an ultra is the social aspect. You meet people from many walks of life.

At mile three we met Ali.

His philosophy on running was, "There is joy in movement".

His daily workout is to walk three miles, jog three miles and then run three miles. By the time he has warmed up with the walk and the jog, he can't wait to run. The joy of movement.

I wish we could have talked with more people along the way but unfortunately misery came pretty early at this one.

Still, when you're running a local race you can always count on your friends to convey those special messages to you, like Richard Clark did to Bob, when we ran into him at Gasport - "Clyde says to tell you, you suck!" What a great motivator that was.

Yes, we were ravaged by the beast on Saturday.

Some days you get the beast and other days the beast gets you.

It had it's way with us on this one but redemption is just a run away, or as the Hashers would say, "On On".

Training For The Beast

2011-07-31T05:58:00.000-04:00

"You can have your friends and eat them too."

- The Cannibal

It has been an oppressive summer. The heat and humidity, not to mention the thunder and lightning, made for some pretty rough runs.

As we ready once again for the Summer Beast of Burden I can't help but wonder, "What the hell were we thinking?"

I am doing the Fifty Miler and Baba is doing the One Hundred.

Who knows what the Cannibal is doing. He claims he's not running it but I think that's just a ploy.

He will be out there, hiding in the bushes or underwater in the canal, sucking a reed, seeking the sick and vulnerable as the race turns ugly.

But we can't let the possibility of lightning strikes or cannibalism bother us. Training is our priority.

Through the rain, the heat and the dark of night, nothing will stop us from our appointed runs.

When race day comes I know the Cannibal will be out there somewhere, trying to trip us up so he can have his way with our toes, but the finish line is our boss and nothing will stop us from reaching it.

Bring it on Cannibal, bring it on.

Guest Post - The Cannibal

2011-06-26T17:57:00.000-04:00

Special thanks to the Cannibal for the first installment of his Summer Beast Story. Hey Cannibal, I forgot to ask, what's the title?

Part I

The Cannibal's eyes slowly fluttered open. First one and then the other. His other senses began assessing the situation. How long had he been asleep by the side of "Clinton's Ditch" in the mud, weeds and assorted goose crap? He knew that it was probably only twenty minutes but he felt scads better. True, his legs still screamed with built up lactic acid and his lower back ached from an old kayak mishap, but these were minor inconveniences that would disappear when he ran the last twenty eight miles to cross the finish of the Summer beast 100 mile Run.

As the Cannibal lay in the weeds by the side of the water he sensed something wasn't quite right. He knew he had a forty five minute lead on Babba so that wasn't it. Something just didn't feel right. There was the sound of the canal water lapping against the rocks on the shore and a bit of light from a waning crescent moon that gave just a hint of visibility to the pitch black surroundings. He could hear the unsure crunch, crunch of an approaching runner on the Towpath trail. You could just tell from the uneven sound of the footsteps that he was a 5K Ultra wannabe. Nothing rhythmic in his gait as his mind wandered amid the pain and darkness. His glaring headlamp was also a dead giveaway that this was his first attempt at the distance. As he approached you could hear the faint strains of the Rocky Theme playing on his IPOD. Jesus, another rookie mistake!

Wait a minute, thought the Cannibal, canal water lapping against the rocks? The canal water doesn't lap against the rocks out here! There was no wind and with only a four mile per hour current the canal is usually noiseless. Not unless. . . . the hair on the back of his neck was standing up as he moved his head slowly toward the dark channel.

Mr. 5K clomped by, oblivious to the hidden Cannibal, his head bobbing to the IPOD tunes. he never heard or flinched when a slimy tentacled figure slipped from the inky water enveloping him in its wiggling suction cupped arms. Horrible sucking sounds and a mild struggle ensued. The chaos didn't last more than fifteen seconds and the dark figure slithered back into the canal. it appeared to be swimming west, its appetite partially satiated.

TO BE CONTINUED . . .

Sweaty Baba

2011-06-19T11:32:00.000-04:00

It was 9:00 a.m. I was all set for a morning workout with my running partner, Baba the Freak.

What I got was the Cannibal's leftovers.

After first doing a 7:00 a.m. run with Clyde, Baba arrived at my doorstep sweaty and disheveled. He looked more ready for a beer than for a run.

But out the door we went.

For a sweaty guy he was pretty good company. The miles went by and before I knew it, the run was done.

What a satisfying feeling it is to get your run in for the day (or two runs for some people).

Sunday's Score Card:

One run for me, two for Baba and God knows how many Clyde will get in by the day's end.

Happy Father's Day and Happy Running everyone.

Treading Water With Wonder Woman

2011-05-17T10:48:00.001-04:00

As I jog in place at a crossroad waiting for cars to pass, I think to myself that running in place is like treading water. My feet are still going while my body takes a short nap.

I think about this as I resume my running, sweating like a Baba, listening to "Wonder Woman" on my MP3 player.

"Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman

All the world's waiting for you,

and the power you possess."

Another crossroad, I tread water again.

Running suddenly feels empowering. I can't wait to take off. I am one with the song.

"In your satin tights

Fighting for your rights

and the old Red White and Blue."

After the cars have passed I break into a run. My pace goes from an 11:20 to an 8:25 like nothing.

"Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman

Now the world is ready for you,

and the wonders you can do."

(theme song from the TV Series "Wonder Woman")

I soon run out of breath and have to walk, but that's okay. I was Wonder Woman for a few seconds there and it was good.

Walking With Nut Jobs

2011-03-20T18:01:00.000-04:00

First day of Spring and out the door we went, Baba, myself and the recovering Cannibal.

We walked four miles on the towpath. Yes, you heard me right, we walked.

When you can’t run, walk. If you can’t walk, crawl. (If it wasn’t for crawling I may not have finished the 50k at Oil Creek.)

The Cannibal hasn't been cleared to run yet but hopefully this week his doctor will give him the thumbs up.

If not, Clyde will fire him and find someone that will give him the thumbs up.

The best advice I ever got for finishing anything was to just keep moving forward.

Today we began our move forward. Happy Spring, everyone.

Is It Spring Yet?

2011-03-06T18:19:00.001-05:00

"Here comes the Sun, Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right
It's all right"

(The Beatles, Here Comes The Sun)

Is is Spring yet?

The Sidelined Runner

2011-02-20T14:00:00.002-05:00

When the doctor's orders are to stop running for a month what do you do?

Well, first of all, you stop running. But then what?

In the Sound of Music, Maria tells Captain Von Trapp, "Reverend Mother always says when the Lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window".

I don't know if the Cannibal has discussed things with the Reverend Mother or not, but hopefully he has found an open window to get him through this time of non running.

Ice fishing, masonry or maybe a little quilting. Whatever your fancy, now is the time to try something new.

Because sometimes, "time off" can be your friend.

Bond Lake Dinner

2011-02-13T18:49:00.000-05:00

Heavy snow, bitter winds and treacherous roads - what kind of a nut job would go out on a night like that?

A whole lot of them, it turns out.

It was a great time at the annual Bond Lake Awards Banquet last Saturday night at the Lewiston Brickyard Pub and BBQ.

As always, Jan Jezioro, the toastmaster, kept things lively as he presided over the ceremony.

Warmth and humor were abundant on this cold winter night. These people embody all that is good about running.

Dark beer, friendship and pulled pork. Who could ask for more?

Runner's Block

2011-01-30T07:37:00.000-05:00

Ever find yourself in a runner's block? Suddenly running loops just doesn't seem fun anymore. You have a bad case of the runner's block blues. So what to do about it?

Ampersand

(the symbol representing the conjunction word, "and")

That's right, no more boring loops.

Today we're going to run in an ampersand pattern. I've mapped it out. Instead of just looping in circles, we're going to follow an ampersand pattern on the map and see where it takes us.

This week, ampersand, next week, question mark.

We'll break out of this runner's block, one punctuation mark at a time.

Pain

2011-01-26T11:33:00.000-05:00

Normally when I discuss pain it has something to with running and the nut jobs that cause it, but today's pain was all my fault.

Instead of going for a run on my day off, I instead went to

the dentist.

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!

I am not a dentist kind of person. Is anybody a dentist kind of person? If you like going to the dentist, email me. Type "I like going to the dentist" in the subject line. You could well be a contender for the 2011 Nut Job of the Year Award.

Anyway, to get through this dreaded appointment I culled my memory bank of lessons learned while running.

When we ran Oil Creek and I found myself running along the cliff of insanity I told myself that if I survived this race I would never be afraid of anything else, ever again.

So this morning while getting ready for my dental appointment I decided to wear the trail shoes that got me out of the mountain at Oil Creek State Park. Surely the shoes would provide me with the courage I needed.

I also needed a mantra. I settled on one of my favorite marathon mantras - "this isn't going to hurt at all".

I am happy to report that I survived the ordeal. Turns out the dental technician was also a runner and talked me through the hour and a half (!) visit with a mind over matter lecture.

Once again, a runner gets me through a difficult time.

Thanks, Shannon.

And thanks, trail shoes.

Musings of a Mule

2011-01-16T16:57:00.001-05:00

Is it wrong to not go out for a run when the American flag is flying sideways?

Is it wrong to be warm and comfortable?

And is it really all that wrong to just curl up by the fire for the morning with a cup of coffee and a good book?

Apparently it is wrong. The nut job is on his way over to pick me up for our Sunday morning run. The thermometer reading is 17 (minus 1 with the wind chill).

It's hell being a runner.

Nut Job Update:

Though no major nut job incidents in January have yet been reported, Baba the Freak has earned a few minor points.

He received his first nut job point by getting a haircut at Sully's and then walking off without paying for it (rumor has it, Sullivan's Barber Shop now has a prepay policy).

Then he scored a half point by showing up for a run with two left gloves. Kind of a feeble attempt at the 2011 Nut Job of the Year award, but hey, it's a start.

Have you done anything "nut job worthy" lately? Let me know so I can pass the information on to the judges. Let's get those nut job points rolling.

The Golden Squirrel Presentation

2011-01-09T18:34:00.002-05:00

It all began properly enough at the presentation of the Golden Squirrel Awards on Sunday.

Last year's winner paid his respect to "The Master Squirrel", as was custom, remembering to kneel in the snow in homage to the suffering of nut job runners worldwide.

But then it came time to hand the coveted statue over to the new victor.

And that's when it got ugly.

The red eyes glowed on the squirrel as it smelled the scent of a battle.

Handing over the title is never an easy thing.

Shiva the Destroyer faced off against the Cannibal.

They fought with a viciousness unusual to see in a church parking lot.

But what could have escalated into an epic battle was quickly downgraded to a misunderstanding on the Cannibals part as he was persuasively led to realize that it was time to give up the squirrel.

After claiming her hard earned statue, Shiva went off on her own to reflect on what this new honor would mean in her life. Would it change her? Would she succumb to the squirrel's strange and evil ways? Only time will tell.

Meanwhile, the losers took to the tow path to drown their sorrows in the wind and snow.

And so a new year begins.

2010 Nut Job Of The Year

2011-01-01T16:32:00.000-05:00

The judges have finally come out of the closet.

Before announcing the 2010 Nut Job of the Year, let me make this perfectly clear. I am in no way responsible for the judges final decision so do not complain, threaten or plot physical harm against me if you feel cheated. Remember, there is always 2011.

As for 2010, there were many contenders.

Baba the Freak was looking good after running three ultras with bare minimum training and a possible heart condition to boot, but the doctor cleared him, so he's out.

Roger definitely had a good shot, making 2010 his year of the ultras, but with the production of a video he turned pro, dq'ing himself from the Nut Job podium, as it is an award for the non professional nut job only.

Then there was the Cannibal, last year's winner. Reclaiming his soul at the Oil Creek 100, he victoriously burned his race bib at the spot where he had dropped out the year before, to the delighted cheers of the aide station workers at Miller's Farm.

At the rut race, the Cannibal dressed up as a bear and scared the running shorts off of Scott Patterson.

Then there was the fat ass race in Rochester, where the Cannibal fell to the ground, faking convulsions, just a few yards from the finish line with Roger in the lead. Roger gave up his first place spot and turned back instead to help his old pal, whereby said pal jumped up and ran to the finish line, beating Roger by a hair.

I could go on and on about the Cannibal's nut job feats of 2010, but why bother. The choice is clear.

The 2010 Nut Job of the Year award goes to . . . .

Shiva the Destroyer Ferguson.

She not only was crazy enough to marry the Cannibal, but she has STAYED married to him for four plus years! You'd have to be a nut job to put up with that guy.

Congratulations Shiva. You truly earned the Golden Squirrel.

And good luck to all contenders for the upcoming year.

Note to Shiva - We would like to present the award to you next Sunday, January 12th at the tow path zero mile marker if you are available. Black tie is optional.

Note to the Cannibal - when we say Black Tie, we don't mean JUST a black tie.

To Roger, Clyde and Baba - thanks for the nut job memories. See you in 2011.

Decisions, Decisions . . .

2010-12-31T01:11:00.000-05:00

The red carpets are being laid out and the paparazzi are charging their camera batteries. Yes, that's right, it's the night before the Golden Squirrel Awards.

Hard to believe a year has gone by since the Cannibal proudly grinned for the cameras at the 2009 Ceremony.

This has truly been the year of the nut job. A lot of cliffs and mud and hills and even a bear! The judges are locked in my upstairs closet as of this writing, paring down their choices for the 2010 Nut Job of the Year.

Stay tuned - the decision will be announced tomorrow.

Special Note - Comment field is currently not working. To respond to this blog, leave comment on facebook or get some chalk and tell it to the towpath.

TheSquirrel and the Nut Jobs

2010-12-19T05:27:00.004-05:00

The squirrel scampered up and down the tree.

The nut job runners sprinted up and down the hill.

Over and over, the squirrel and the nut jobs repeated their actions.

The squirrel, happy to be doing his tree repeats.

The runners growing ever prouder as the amount of times they ran up and down the hill steadily increased.

The nut job and the squirrel - amigos in spirit.

:)

Temporarily Out Of Order

2010-11-28T17:13:00.001-05:00

Due to the heartbreaking Bills overtime loss, there will be no blog today. When I am through drowning my sorrows I will write again. Thank you for understanding. Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day.

Miles

2010-11-13T05:54:00.070-05:00

My "to do" list yesterday was hopelessly long but it was so nice outside (60 degrees and sunny in November!) that I just had to squeeze a few running miles into my schedule.

"I managed to get three miles in today," I told Baba, when he got out of work.

Being the competitive freak that he is, Baba was quick to point out that he just finished doing a 29 miler.

Of course the difference is that I was on foot, while he, on the other hand was just finishing his 29 mile mail route in his postal truck.

The miles don’t count if you’re driving them, Baba!

I realize that three miles isn't much, but while I was working up a sweat, he was merely burning gas.

In the end, the question isn’t, “How many miles did you get in?" but “Were you on foot?”

Final tally for the day:

Me - 3 honest miles

Baba - 29 cheater miles

Possibilities

2010-10-31T17:17:00.003-04:00

I am watching the Bills in overtime as I write this post. Watching the Bills play, thinking they could win this one should make me a qualifier for the Nut Job of the Year award.

My running heroine from Connecticut, Emmy, asked me about our 2011 race schedule. That is an interesting question.

What are we going to do next year? Very big question.

What are you going to do next year?

Wow, Kansas City kick is no good! Bills are still alive! Could we possibly get our first win of the year? Anything is possible.

That could be the nut job mantra - anything is possible.

I am terrified of heights and the nut jobs had me running along a rim with a 700 foot drop. Anything is possible.

Two minutes left in overtime. Tied at ten.

Do we go back to the Oil Creek 100 Trail Runs and try the 100k? Do we do the 2011 Winter Beast of Burden? Do we travel to South Carolina and check out one of Terry Hayes' awesome trail ultra s?

Planning for the year ahead. It is so much more fun when you're doing it with nut jobs.

37 seconds to go and Kansas City has the first down at the thirty five.

Doesn't look good but anything is possible.

I finished a 50k at Oil Creek. The Bills can win this game.

25 seconds to go. Kansas City at the 25 yard line.

Anything is possible, isn't it? Swirling winds. 12 seconds, Chiefs at the 16 yard line.

5 seconds to go. Here comes Succup. What kind of a name is that? 35 yard field goal attempt.

Oh crap, it's good.

Okay, the Bills lost again, but still, anything really is possible.

So what are we doing next year?

I'm thinking, more long runs on Sundays during football season might be a good idea.

Oil Creek Insanity

2010-10-19T19:49:00.004-04:00

When you first start this run everything looks innocent enough. Beautiful Pennsylvania woods in the fall. What could be more pleasant?

Never believe the brochures. This is an evil course. Freddy Krueger would not run this thing.

My ever patient running partner, Baba the Freak, turned to check on me during the very perilous switch back portion of the run and was a bit dismayed to find me crawling on my hands and knees to make my way around the edge of the drop-off.

My will to live was battling heavily with my desire to curl into a ball and hibernate, hoping somewhat unrealistically that I would wake up somewhere safe and comfy.

The Cannibal fared much better. The demons didn't start calling him until night fell. Good thing he had a pacer. Oh wait, his pacer was the first to puke. Note to the Cannibal, need to pick your pacers more wisely.

But actually, if it wasn't for Chuck (the Cannibal's pacer) pulling him out of the woods after that second loop, Clyde might still be in there today, storming through the woods naked, lighting his way with a 2009 race bib aflame in his hand.

This course had many interesting (nut job insanity) aspects about it. Running steep downhills along moss covered, slippery rocks kept my adrenalin flowing. No need for caffeine today. And I don't even want to talk about the narrow wooden bridges sans guard rails.

Running (crawling on all fours, clinging to a tree for dear life) along the rim made you wonder if this would be your last run, but even scarier was when you heard phantom whispering in the forest and began to see sightings of Cheshire Chuck in the trees.

But the cruelest aspect of all was section four. Only eight miles to go - the last two on the road in a civilized world! Piece of cake. You were almost done.

Yeah, right.

Just when you were convinced that you would be emerging from the mountain soon, the pink and silver markers began leading you back upwards. You knew that "down" led you to the road. You wanted "down". "Down" meant "out", so clearly, "up" was bad. But the markers didn't give a damn how tired and mentally crazed you were. Up, up they went.

Once in awhile they would lead you downwards to make you think you were ending your journey, but just as the sound of the Drake Oil Well grew louder, the flags would lead you back up into the woods again, away from the finish line. The pounding sounds of the well growing ever fainter as you wondered if this race would ever end.

As for Roger, he went back into Hell three times! He is clearly a contender for Nut Job Of The Year. How do you go back in there in the dark for a third time?!!! You know what is waiting for you in there. Just how insane are you??!!

And let's not forget about the race director of Oil Creek. Tom Jennings is a great race director, probably one of the best out there. He shook hands with each and every finisher and personally handed them their wonderfully crafted (made in the USA!) belt buckles as you crossed the finish line.

But I can't help but wonder. What kind of a twisted mind would design a cruel course like this? Great guy, or sick-humored ghost from the historic oil mine past? He may not be of this world. Something to check out in the future.

Anyway, loved the challenge in a "terrified" sort of way. Can't wait to see what kind of stupid thing the nut jobs will sign up for next year.

Thanks for the unforgettable adventure, Nut Jobs,

Sheri the Mountain Mule

Here are a few "before the mountain" pictures.

P.S. - Before or after the Oil Creek 100 Trail Runs, be sure to stop at the Blue Canoe for a great micro beer!

What It Is To Be A Nut Job

2010-10-09T18:02:00.002-04:00

      When you go for a run, you are never alone. Every muscle in your body is right there with you.

   "Hi there, I'm your left quad. I'm going to seize up on you. "

   "Say, have we met? I'm your IT Band. You'll be getting to know me better on the second loop."

It hurts to push yourself. Whether it is a marathon, an ultra marathon, or a super sick ultra triathlon Hawaiian double trail run backwards, the fact is that effort hurts.

But in a strange way, when you've finished your race, the pain almost feels good. It is proof that you did what you set out to do.

The challenge you assigned to yourself is over and now it's time to kick back and nurse your wounds, wallowing in your nut job victory.

Pain becomes nostalgia as it quietly subsides into a satisfying feeling.

That is what it is to be a nut job.

Nutgate

2010-10-03T07:23:00.003-04:00

2009 Nut Job of the Year

There are three months left in the year. And you know what that means. Three months left till the 2010 Nut Job of the Year Award is decided.

It is hoped that all involved will be professional and respectful of the man, woman or beast most deserving of the title. But having spent time with the nominees, frankly, I'm worried.

It's rumored that somebody (the Cannibal) is planting monitoring devices in the competition's clothing.

Baba the Freak was the first such victim. "I feel so violated," he said, after discovering a GPS Spy Cam in his shorts.

And what about poor Raja Runalot who awoke in the middle of the night to find his fellow nut jobs sifting through his running log?!

Come on guys. Sure, it's a prestigious award, but isn't friendship more important than fleeting glory?

There are three months to go before the golden squirrel is awarded. Let's make these a warm and fuzzy three months.

By the way, great link from Shiva the Destroyer for working your core muscles: http://www.mytrainerbob.com/blog-posts/fitness-deconstructed-planks.

Thanks Shiva.

Two weeks till Oil Creek 100 Trail Runs!

Training For Insanity

2010-09-26T18:35:00.000-04:00

"I can't believe that God put us on this earth to be ordinary." - Lou Holtz

The Oil Creek 100 Trail Runs is less than three weeks away.

My favorite nut jobs are training for it with a fine blend of hills, trails and mental insanity.

I love that they don't seem to care how hard something is going to be. I love that their passion for running totally overrules any sense of sanity they may once have had.

Mud, cliffs, bears, unspeakable pain as the miles wear on into the night

. . . so many great subjects to take pictures of. I can hardly wait!

The photo of you guys being chased through the woods by an angry bear is going to be awesome! Good luck and have a great run!

* * * * * * *

Speaking of trail races, the Cannibal (last year’s Nut Job of the Year) sent me a link to what looks to be a future nut job favorite trail race.

Check out the “Hairy Gorilla Half Marathon and Squirrely Six Mile Race” in Thatcher State Park, Voorheesville, NY, 15 miles from Albany - http://www.albanyrunningexchange.org/hgh/

Hairy Gorilla Finishers Medal - need I say more?!

Why It's Good To Run With Funny People

2010-09-19T06:49:00.000-04:00

If you want to stay healthy you need to do more than just run every day. You need to bring somebody funny with you.

Having fun is more important than you think. People sometimes assume "having fun" is something you get to do when you're not doing something important. But consider this - smiling and laughing are good for you.

Smiling releases Endorphins, the feel good neurotransmitter, shooting confidence and satisfaction to your brain. Every time you smile there is a measurable reduction in your blood pressure.

Laughing is even better than smiling. It not only reduces your stress level but it also releases the hormone, serotonin, giving you an instant natural high. Laughing releases fear and anxiety and has been shown to improve long term mental health.

Question - Do people who laugh while they run attain "runner's high" more often than solitary runners?

Running with Nut Jobs - if they don't kill you, they'll make you healthier!

Falling Into It

2010-09-06T15:39:00.001-04:00

It's fall. Summer is over. It's no longer 90 degrees out with 85 percent humidity. We are all human beings again. The woods aren't overrun with deer flies and mosquitoes and the wall of heat doesn't attack us when we head out the door. We don't have to carry bottles of ice water just to make it through a run.

True, winter will be here soon enough, bringing it's own set of problems, but for now it is Fall and life is good for runners.

Everybody bow down and say thanks to the God of Fall Running. Hail to thee, cooler weather, hail to thee.

Upcoming Fall Races:

Harvest Moon 5k - Pendleton NY - Sept. 8th, 6:30 PM

Lighthouse Baptist Church 5k - North Tonawanda NY - Sept. 11th, Sat. 2:00 PM

Oil Creek 100 Trail Runs - Oil Creek Park PA - Oct. 16th

Runner's Dementia

2010-08-29T19:08:00.000-04:00

When the long run goes bad . . .

You've run so many miles that you're staggering like a drunk. You're kicking your own ankles. Your body is screaming "Stop!" but you still have many miles to go yet.

So you do the only thing you can, you hand the task over to your brain. Time for the mental strength to kick in.

But what if the brain breaks down too? Then what?

Brain splints, better known as Runner's Dementia sets in. Hard as you try, you can't figure out how many miles you have left of a 20 miler when you're at mile 14 1/2.

Sure, the math seems simple now, but try it sometime when you're out there on the trail with Runner's Dementia.

Hallucinations, crying jags, peeing on yourself, it's happened to all serious distance runners at one time or another and by serious, I mean, "not normal".

It's nothing to be ashamed of. Well, maybe the peeing on yourself part is, but overall, if you've experienced Runners Dementia it just means that you've pushed yourself past your limits. And that takes courage. It's not easy to be that stupid.

Loony the squirrel says - "The impossible is always possible when you're nuts."

Upcoming Races:

Harvest Moon Run - Wed. Sept. 8th, 6:30 p.m. Pendleton NY

Lighthouse Baptist 5k - Sat. Sept 11th, 2:00 p.m. North Tonawanda NY

Oil Creek 100 Trail Runs - Sat. Oct 16th, Oil Creek State Park PA

The Summer Beast Report

2010-08-22T13:52:00.000-04:00

What started out as an overcast day with a pleasant breeze quickly turned hot and humid, then as night fell, mother nature decided to turn on the "cold driving rain" switch.

Let me say this about running my first ultra. I REALLY appreciated the volunteers at the aid stations every six miles. They were the best. They helped so much when the going got tough and ugly. And boy did it get ugly.

Toward the end, every mile lasted forever and I may have been delusional but I swear as Widewaters finally came into sight, the geese stood down by the water on the other side of the canal and laughed at us.

Then the bushes turned into monsters. I couldn't believe it. I've run that towpath a thousand times but I never noticed the monsters on the side of the path before. Maybe they only come out after midnight.

And the rain just kept pouring down.

Finally we crossed the bridge to run the final stretch in and I thought all would be well very soon. But somehow while we were running our last loop, somebody added extra mileage onto the winding path that leads to the finish line. I don't know who did it or how or why, but that last mile in had to be 5 miles long. Really nasty trick to play on a bunch of good hearted runners.

The most amazing thing I saw though, as we finished the second of our two 25 mile loops in the darkness, was watching the 100 milers heading back out into the wind and the driving rain to do their 3rd and 4th loops!

Mental toughness at its finest.

Here are a few pictures early on in the race while the running was still smooth and easy.

Great run with a great bunch of people.

Upcoming Races:

Run For Hope 5k - Saturday, Sept 4th, 9:30 AM , Tonawanda NY
Fleet Feet 15k - Monday Sept. 6th 8 AM, Buffalo NY
Harvest Moon Run - Wednesday Sept. 8th 6:30 PM, Pendleton NY

Next Ultra Up:

Oil Creek 100 Trail Runs- Saturday Oct. 16th, Oil Creek State Park PA

Appreciating Flatness

2010-08-15T16:01:00.000-04:00

"What this power is I cannot say; all I know is that it exists and it becomes available only when a man is in that state of mind in which he knows exactly what he wants and is fully determined not to quit until he finds it." Alexander Graham Bell

As I stood there listening to the three nut jobs discussing the upcoming Oil Creek 100 Ultra , I realized how truly crazy they really are. 100 miles of unspeakable elevation through woods, mud, rocks and unforgiving drop offs.

Oh, and did I mention that there are bears in the woods?

That race will take place in October.

This is August. It is a week before the Summer Beast Of Burden - the 24 hour and 100 mile race along the Erie Canal. It will be long and hot but it will also be one thing the Oil Creek 100 is not.

The Summer Beast will be flat.

So after listening to the nut jobs planning their insane Oil Creek adventure I have found a mantra to hopefully get myself through next weekends sweltering Summer Beast -

"At least it's flat."

Upcoming Ultras:

Beast of Burden Summer 100-miler and 24 hour Ultra - August 21st, Lockport NY

Oil Creek 100 Trail Runs - October 16th, Oil Creek State Park, PA

Upcoming Races:

Rut Race 3.4 miles - Mon. August 16th 7:00 PM, Bond Lake

Moonlight Run 5k- Wed. August 18th 8:00 PM, Williamsville

Remember, you're only nuts if a psychiatrist says so. And even then there's always the chance that he's wrong.

Good Karma, Bad Karma

2010-08-10T07:05:00.000-04:00

To different minds, the same world is a hell or a heaven." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

When the karma is good the running is good.

For instance, whenever I am on vacation I seem to run better. Is it because I am well rested? Probably. But another part of it is karma. Being away from knife wielding workmates is like stripping the shackles from my feet.

There is a type of people I like to call "Black Clouds". Their glass is always half empty and they see nothing but doom ahead. They will try and drag you down into their dark, depressing world whenever they can.

Want to improve your running? Surround yourself with nut job runners. They are on the whole a very positive, upbeat bunch and will take you to mental heights usually reserved for angels and mental patients.

Lighter mind, lighter feet.

Upcoming Ultras:

Summer Beast of Burden 100

Oil Creek 100 Trail Runs

Links To Check Out:

Core Strengthening

Self Control

2010-07-29T19:46:00.000-04:00

"Get Thee Behind Me, Satan" - Matthew

Training, it's all about self control. Controlling your pace, controlling your liquid intake, controlling your thoughts. Self control - it turns out I don't have any. At least, not when it comes to potato chips.

I know I should be eating right. I need to stay healthy if I want to run with nut jobs. They run, they sprint, they do hill repeats, they run crazy distances. To keep up with that kind of crowd you need to be in shape.

Eating potato chips is not the way to do it. And I usually don't eat them, but last night, an unnamed friend (Baba the Freak) left a large bag of them at my house. He was supposed to take them with him, but he didn't. There they were right in front of me. A whole bag of them. Greasy, fattening, potato chips, completely without any nutritional value whatsoever!

I knew immediately that this was my chance to practice self control. It was the middle of the night. There was only me and the chips. I would show them who was boss. I would just walk right on past them without eating one single chip. Well, maybe just one . . .

Half a bag later I realized I had to do something to stop this nutritional tragedy. I'm a runner, I can't be doing this. So I did the only thing I could to keep from finishing off the entire bag. I took the potato chip remains outside and buried them in my backyard.

No more evil chips. It wasn't pretty, but I did what I had to do. And that's what self control and running are all about. Doing what you have to do.

Moral of the story - Bury temptation before it buries you.

Upcoming Races:
Mental Health 5k - Friday, July 30th, Delaware Park
Italian Festival 5k - Sunday, August 1st, Niagara Falls NY

Jason Raby Memorial 5K - Thursday, August 5th,

Upcoming Ultras:

Summer Beast Of Burden - Saturday, August 21st, Lockport NY

Oil Creek 100 Trail Runs - Saturday, October 16th, Oil Creek State Park

Ultra Runners - What A Bunch Of Nut Jobs

2010-07-18T15:21:00.002-04:00

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough." - Joe Lewis

Ultra Runners live in a different sphere of life than the rest of us.

If you ask them, "How far do you want to run?" they will reply, "As far as you want."

Ask them, "Where do you want to run?" and they will say, "Wherever you want."

Ask, "What pace?" and you know what their answer will be? You guessed it, "Whatever pace you would like to run."

Any distance, any time, any pace.

As for races, they seem to seek out the most challenging runs out there. Fifty miles in the ice and snow? They're there. One hundred miles in the heat of summer? Count them in.

Dante's Nine Circles of Hell? Better sign up fast because that one will sell out for sure.

Nut jobs, it just wouldn't be an Ultra without them.

* On a personal note - I have experienced at least three of the nine circles of hell while doing long runs with ultra runners.

Upcoming Ultras:

Summer Beast 100 - August 21, Lockport NY

Oil Creek 100 Trail Runs - October 16, Oil Creek, PA

Local Events And Races:

Empire State Games - July 21 - July 25, Buffalo, NY
St. John Vianney 5k - July 22, Orchard Park, NY
Tim Frank Memorial Canal Fest - July 22, North Tonawanda, NY
Crab Apple 5k Run - July 24, Stiglmeier Park, Buffalo, NY
The Lockport 100 Mile Team Relay - July 25, Lockport NY

Links I Like:

Don't Panic (Douglas Adams H2G2 Site)
Tackle Cat -That cat has nut job potential.

Secret Training Session Exposed

2010-07-10T19:22:00.000-04:00

While running the Erie Canal Tow Path the other day, the Cannibal mentioned his upcoming duathalon in Wilson, NY.

Baba the Freak grew strangely quiet. I wondered if the rumors were true.

I had heard from an unnamed source that Baba was doing some secret training of his own.

If the Cannibal was doing a duathalon, the story had it, then a triathalon it was for the Freak. Nothing like a little running rivalry among friends.

I talked with Baba's Swimming coach to get some answers.

The conversation went something like this:

Me: "Hey Odie, What's going on?"

Odie: "Pant, pant, drool . . arf, arf."

Me: "Is it true that Baba is secretly training for a Triathalon behind the Cannibals back?"

Odie: "Arf, arf, pant, drool."

With Odie clamming up tighter than a . . well . . . tighter than a clam, I decided to do a little photo investigation of my own.

As you can see, the Freak is definitely up to something. I'm thinking a few Woofie treats might loosen Coach Odie's lips.

Stay tuned for breaking news.

Upcoming Ultras:

Summer Beast Of Burden - August 21 - 10:00 AM, Lockport NY

Oil Creek 100 Trail Runs - October 16, Oil Creek State Park PA

Upcoming Road Races:

Old Home Days - July 15th - 6:30 PM, Williamsville NY YMCA

Subaru 4 mile News Runner Of The Year Race - July 16th - 7:00 PM, Buffalo NY

Links I Like:

Stairs Workout

Guess That Emotion

Name That Nut Job

2010-06-28T18:18:00.000-04:00

They say that all you need to run are two legs. It turns out that one leg will do just fine. Just ask a Canada Goose . . . or a nut job runner.

It was hot and humid along the Erie Canal on Sunday but the miles were entertaining.

When the run was over and everybody was back at the parking lot cooling off, the Cannibal brought out the special yellow sweat towels.

I was sweating profusely and couldn't wait to receive my free towel. But it wasn't to be.

Baba the Freak already had one from a previous run. The Cannibal handed two folded towels over to the Aussie.

How many special yellow towels did the mule get? Zero.

Just who is this Aussie and why did he get two towels?

He's a runner with a good nature and a great sense of humor and we like him, but still, he got two towels.

And another thing. He needs a nickname.

Any suggestions for this Sheaf Stout drinking friend from down under would be appreciated. Perhaps something to do with his new-found habit of destroying bass drums. Or maybe something about towels.

Good friends, good laughs, good run. What more could you ask for?

Well, a yellow towel would have been nice.

Local Races Coming Up:

Tommy's Run - July 3, Orchard Park
Run For Rover - July 11, LaSalle Park

Nut Job Ultras:

Summer Beast Of Burden - August 21, Lockport NY
Oil Creek 100 Trail Runs - October 16, Oil Creek State Park, PA

Links I Like:

A Better Breakfast Taco
Animated Exercises

Dangling Participles

2010-06-21T19:37:00.003-04:00

Which one of these sentences isn't a dangling participle?

A. Doing a mating dance for all to see, Baba The Freak watched the ostriches.

B. The Cannibal ran, eating up the feet on his path.

C. After boiling eggs for the woman's club, Shiva the Destroyer chopped them into pieces.

The answer to the test is of course - B. Everybody knows that the cannibal really does eat feet (but that doesn't necessarily make him a bad person).

Why do I ask and what does this have to do with running?

Distraction.

Sometimes when you are only on the second mile of a twenty two miler, and it's already going bad, you need to think about other things.

Some people do math in their head. Others count their steps. I like to dangle participles.

The point is, when the running gets tough, maybe you just need to stop thinking about running.

This Weeks Local Races:

Best Of Eggertsville - June 22, Amherst NY
Run In the Mist - June 23, Goat Island
APT Spring Into Summer - June 25, Lockport NY

Interesting Ultras:

Summer Beast Of Burden - August 21st, Lockport NY
Oil Creek 100 Trail Runs - October 16, Oil Creek PA

Links I Like:

Ships Cat
BP Coffee Spill

Spawning Season

2010-06-13T19:19:00.002-04:00

"I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street." - W. H. Auden

It's spawning season. What a great time to be a runner.

Imagine running along the Niagara River when suddenly you hear a splash. You glance over and see a giant salmon leaping into the air and coming back down into the water with the kind of drama and flair that only a spawning salmon can pull off.

This is what running is all about. Being outside with nature in all of its wondrous energy.

Today while my feet are hitting the road, I won't be looking for miles, I'll be looking for spawners .

(If anyone has a photo of a spawning fish they would be willing to donate to this article, I sure would appreciate it.)

Upcoming Races:

Lois Koss Memorial Run - Thursday, June 17th, 6:30 PM
St. Gregory the Great Race - Friday, June 18th, 7:00 PM
MSMH River Run - Saturday, June 19th, 9:00 AM
Jog For The Jake - Sunday, June 20th, 9:300 AM

Interesting Ultras:

Summer Beast Of Burden - Saturday, August 21st
Oil Creek 100 Trail Runs - Saturday, October 16th

Links I Liked:

List of the best 100 novels ever written
100 best movies of all time
Monty Pythons Completely Useless Website

Thanks for visiting.

- The Mule

The Breath Of The Beast

2010-06-06T19:15:00.000-04:00

"There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it." - Alfred Hitchcock

I feel the hot, heavy breath of the beast on the back of my neck.

Every day that passes brings me a day closer to our meeting. But I am not afraid (well maybe just a little). I am human and I have strength and I have faith and I have courage.

And most important of all, I have nut job friends to help me through when the insanity level rises over my head.

The Beast is insatiable. He will swallow you whole if you let Him.

He is hungry and he is mean. He makes his appearance twice each year. In February and in August. The coldest and hottest days of the year. Coincidence? I don't think so.

My allies conquered him in the cold. Now the heat is coming and I will join my noble running adventurers (total nut jobs) and show the beast what we are made of.

Who will survive? Who will crumble? Those questions will be answered August 21st.

All I ask is that there be a cold beer waiting at the end of the journey.

Buffalo Hash House Harriers, can you hear me?

Races To Check Out:

JP MorganChase Corporate Challenge - Thursday June 10, 6:45 PM
Susan G Komen Race For The Cure - Saturday June 12, 10:00 AM

Ultras To Check Out:

Summer Beast Of Burden
Oil Creek 100 Trail Runs

Links To Check Out:

The Virtual Runner Blog List
Lion Warning

Oh The Woe Of Runner's Toe

2010-06-03T18:16:00.000-04:00

What can you say about a toe? What can you say about this toe?

It's not pretty, that's for sure. That's because it's a runner's toe.

How can you tell?

Read back a few sentences.

"It's not pretty."

Runner's feet are not a thing of beauty.

A runner's style may be beautiful. His form may be downright perfect. He may hold the pace of a God on the long run, but his feet will never, ever be pretty.

Nice feet? Not a real runner.

Never had a black toenail or a hideous blister? How about a foot so blue from running in the cold that you were accused of being a corpse? Never happened to you?

Out with you, you fake, pretty footed pretender.

You're not a real runner, I say to you.

Show me an ugly foot and I will show you a beautiful runner.

Next week we will cover runner's ankle.

Run on, you grotesque footed adventurers, run on.

Upcoming Races:

Flight 3407 Memorial Race - Clarence Center - Saturday, June 5th, 9:30 AM

Salmon Run - Wilson, NY - Saturday, June 5th, 5:00 PM

Run For The Rosa's 5k and pancake breakfast - Cheektowaga - Sunday, June 6th, 9:00 AM

Upcoming Ultras:

Summer Beast Of Burden - Erie Canal, Lockport NY - Saturday, August 21st, 10:00 AM

Oil Creek 100 - Oil Creek Park, PA - Saturday, October 16th

Links To Check Out:

Good Mood Foods
Essentials of Buddhism
How To Become A Human Calender

Quality and Effort in Running

2010-05-24T01:36:00.001-04:00

After doing a seven mile run on the Pendleton Bike path with my favorite nut jobs, I came home and signed into my online running log.

I filled in the usual spots for miles, pace and the weather conditions and then I came to the spot where you fill in the quality and effort of your run on a scale of one to ten.

Generally I rate my runs at a six or a seven without too much thought.

But today we had been discussing quality while we were running.

My main concern is usually about the miles. How many for the day, the week, the month.

Quality and effort - I had to think about it.

Was it a quality run? Did I give it my all? Was it an enjoyable experience? Was it special?

After much thought I am crossing out the one to ten scale and drawing in a big smiley face. If I'm smiling at the end, it was a good run.

Local Marathons:

Sehgahunda Trail Marathon - May 29, Saturday, 8:00 AM

Buffalo Marathon - May 30, Sunday, 7:00 AM

Upcoming Ultras:

Summer Beast of Burden - Saturday, August 21

Oil Creek 100 - Saturday, October 16

Interesting Links:

Australia Gets Drunk

Life's Lessons

Jackson Pollock

Running Without A Nut Job

2010-05-16T15:33:00.001-04:00

"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves." - Henry David Thoreau

I don't usually run alone but for various reasons this particular day I was without a running partner.

My normal (?) running partner, Baba the Freak, has lectured me many times about running by myself. "You have to be careful. There are a lot of perverts out there."

But with the Summer Beast looming ever closer, I needed to get some miles in. And anyway, I was only going to run a few miles. It shouldn't be a problem.

Problem - I got lost. How I got lost in my own neighborhood I really can't explain. All I know is I was running down the road I live on when I turned down a road I had never turned down before and a few twists and turns later, there I was, face to face with a dinosaur.

I was no longer in my own neighborhood.

To sum it up, my two mile run turned into a nine mile run.

Baba thought my biggest problem would be other people if I ran by myself. It turns out my biggest problem is me.

So remember, never leave home without your nut job running partner.

Upcoming Races:

Buffalo Greek Fest 5k - Friday, May 21, 6:30 PM
DNFBA Running With The Rapids - Saturday, May 22, 9:00 AM

Upcoming Marathons:

Buffalo Marathon - Sunday, May 30, 7:00 AM

Ultras To Check Out:

Summer Beast of Burden - Saturday, August 21, 10:00 AM
Oil Creek 100 - Saturday, October 16, 2010

Interesting Links to Check Out:

Grilled Cheese Academy
Shakespeare Insult Kit
Chipmunk Story

Baba Bukowski

2010-05-09T09:20:00.003-04:00

Sitting around the Sneak Inn after a good run, Baba the Freak and I paged through a book I had just bought.

There is nothing quite so special as discovering an excellent book.

Whenever we run with the Cannibal I find myself writing down notes afterward. It isn't notes on how to run efficiently or proper footwear for the trails.

No, it's usually a CD to listen to or a writer to check out.

Last Sunday, at the Cannibals urging, I found myself writing down the name "Charles Bukowski".

Researching him online, two facts about Charles Bukowski immediately caught my attention:
1 - He used to work for the post office before becoming a famous writer.
2 - His first novel was titled "Post Office".

Having personally worked for the post office, I had to order the book.

I shared it with my mentor, Baba the Freak, who also has done time at the USPS.

The main character, a rebellious, alcoholic derelict, Hank Chinaski, spoke to Baba's soul.

After perusing the pages, Baba is convinced that he has finally found his long lost father. Baba the Freak is from here on after to be known as Baba Bukowski.

It's a special thing when a man finds his roots.

Special note - Bucky the Cat would from now on like to be called "Bucky Bukowski"

What does this have to do with running? Runners like beer. Charles Bukowski drank a lot of beer. Need I say more?

Salute - Baba Bukowski, may your runs go down as smoothly as your beers.

Upcoming Races:

Springville Stampede 5k - May 12, Wednesday, 6:30 PM

Buffalo Greek Fest 5k - May 21, Friday, 6:30 PM

Upcoming Ultras:

Summer Beast Of Burden 100 - Saturday, August 21

Oil Creek 100 - Saturday, October 16

Interesting Links To Check Out:

Charles Bukowski
Cheese and Burger Society
Ultra Running Marathon Calendar

The Journey

2010-05-02T18:28:00.001-04:00

“Some people never go crazy, What truly horrible lives they must live” - Charles Bukowski

We ran on the towpath with the Cannibal today. Just six miles, but it was a good six miles.

The time went by quickly as we listened to his stories of the Boston Marathon he had just returned from. It was his first time back there in thirty years!

Running with nut jobs is a wonderful thing. They are adventurers in every sense of the word.

Whether it's Boston or the Beast of Burden or Climbing Mount Everest backwards, the journey seems to mean just as much to them as the finish line.

Carol and I both signed up for our first Ultra. I don't expect it to be easy, but with friends like Baba the Freak and The Cannibal, and all of the other nut jobs of the towpath, I know it will be a most interesting journey.

Thanks for the inspiration, guys.

Upcoming Local Events:

Cummins Run For Literacy - Saturday, May 8th 9:00 AM

DeSales Race For Fitness - Saturday, May 8th 10:00 AM

Heritage Centers Foundation 5k - Saturday, May 8th 10:00 AM
The Elephant Run - Sunday, May 9th, 9:30 AM

Nut Job Ultras:

Summer 100 Beast Of Burden

Oil Creek 100

Interesting Links To Check Out:
runningmap.com
Boston Marathon Qualifiers

Running Wet, Running Strong

2010-04-25T07:41:00.004-04:00

"If you are already wet, you won’t care about the rain." - Romanian Proverb

As I lay in bed listening to the rain, I think about what I will wear for our run today.

Then I wonder - what do non-runners think about when they wake up to the sound of rain on a Sunday Morning?

I'll bet they don't think about going outside for a long walk.

If they look out their window and see a group of runners sprinting by, are they thinking "good for them"? More likely it's "What's wrong with those people?".

Either way, I'm glad I'm a runner. And I'm especially glad that I run with nut jobs.

Sometimes it means running unforgiving hills when your legs are tired. Sometimes it means sweating out twenty miles in the summer heat and sometimes it means getting really, really wet.

But it is always fun and it is always worth it.

If you haven't already, give a nut job a hug today.

Upcoming Races:
SFC Race For A Cause - Thursday, April 29th, 6:30 PM
Grand Island Half Marathon - Saturday, May 1st, 10:00 AM

Nut Job Ultras:

Summer Beast of Burden

Oil Creek

Interesting Links To Check Out:

Life Is Far Too Short To Drink Cheap Beer

Nutrition and Your Mental Edge
50 Things Everyone Should Know How To Do

Five Reasons Why You Should Run With Squirrels

2010-04-18T08:29:00.003-04:00

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. - Bernard Meltzer

There are over 365 different species of squirrels in the world. If there was a squirrel mailing club, and the post office had Sunday delivery, you could get a different squirrel in the mail every day!

As long as there are so many squirrels out there, running to and fro, I say let's put them to good use.

Five Reasons Why You Should Run With Squirrels:

Squirrels never choose the same mating partner twice. Less inbreeding equals stronger runner.
Squirrels are most active 2 - 3 hours after sunrise. Then they sleep through the afternoon and are ready to go again 2 hours before sunset - perfect for double runs!
A squirrels brain is the size of a walnut. Who's stupid enough to run 100 miles? You guessed it.
Squirrels communicate through chirps and tail movements. Great for the long run when you're too tired to talk.
Squirrels leave their scent on food by licking and rubbing up against it before burying it. You'll never lose a stashed water bottle again.

But how do you find a squirrel to run with?

Put up a bird feeder and they will come.

Upcoming Races:

Shoes For The Shelter - Sunday, April 18th, 12:00 PM
JDRF Run For The Cure - Saturday, April 24th, 10:00 AM

Envirun - Saturday, April 24th, 10:30 AM

BPAC 6-Hour Distance Classic - Sunday, Apr 25th, 8:00 AM

Upcoming Ultras:

Summer Beast of Burden - Saturday, Aug. 21st
Oil Creek - Saturday, Oct. 16th

This Weeks Interesting Links:

Squirrelz Unlimited

You Know You're A Runner When . . .

Good luck to the Cannibal and friends at Boston. Eat, run and be happy!

Runners - Volunteers Needed For Beer Experiment

2010-04-11T07:54:00.000-04:00

"Life is "trying things to see if they work." - (Ray Bradbury)

"All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"A fool is a man who never tried an experiment in his life." - Erasmus Darwin

"When I was in England, I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didn't like it and didn't inhale and never tried it again." - Gov. Bill Clinton

With the current hops shortage going on in the United States, my nut job running partner and I decided it was time to step up to our responsibilities as beer drinking American runners and grow some hops on our own.

We're just that noble.

And thirsty.

Shortage of hops equals shortage of beer - this is serious, people!

We've potted the rhizomes. They will be planted outside in May after they've rooted and then harvested in the fall.

After that the real experiment begins. The Tarahumara Indians make a corn beer that is laden with protein.

Our goal is to brew a healthy beer much like the beer the extremely healthy Tarahumara Runners drink.

But how will we know if we've succeeded in our goal?

This is where you come in. Once the beer is ready, we will be needing slightly naive test subjects to try out our (hopefully) healthy beer.

We would like to take a healthy, active person and beer him up pretty good before sending him out onto the open road with a GPS and heart rate monitor strapped to his runners bod and see what he can do.

Note - You will need to sign a waiver before volunteering for this experiment.

Pros - free beer.

Cons - Possible side effects that may include blindness and "manly bedroom problems" from time to time.

Don't be afraid. Remember the nut job runners creed, "If it ain't crazy, I ain't doing it".

Thanks for helping out.

Upcoming 5k Races:

Feel The Spirit 5K - Cheektowaga NY, Sat. April 17, 11:00 AM

Canisius College Shoes For the Shelter 5K - Buffalo NY, Sun. April 18, 12 Noon

2010 Nut Job Marathons:
Boston Marathon - Boston, MA, Mon. April 19, 10:00 AM

2010 Nut Job Ultras:
Oil Creek 100 October 16, 2010
Summer Beast of Burden (official date not announced yet)

Interesting Links To Check Out:
The Sacred Corn Beer Of The Tarahumara
Health Benefits Of Hops

Running, It's Not Just A Verb, lt's An Adventure

2010-04-04T05:39:00.000-04:00

"Start by doing what`s necessary; then do what`s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible." St. Francis of Assisi

It all started so innocently. It was years ago when running was just another verb in the dictionary to me.

I was talking to a nut job (my first encounter with one) and casually mentioned, "Gee, I'd like to try running sometime."

Next thing you know he has me training for a 5k.

Then it's, "I think you should do a half marathon".

Then of course it was, "You have to do at least one marathon."

Many months of hills, miles and tears later, I finally did it. I ran my first marathon. I was good now. I'd done it all. I wasn't just a runner anymore. I was a marathoner! All set, right?

Noooooo.

To get a belt buckle you have to run an ultra!

So this summer I will be training with the nut jobs for my first ultra.

But what happens when I finish that? What will these nut jobs think of next?

Ooh boy, let's pretend I didn't ask.

Upcoming 5k's:

Haiti Relief 5k, Buffalo NY, Saturday 4/10, 9:30 AM

Memorial Miles 5k, Hamburg NY, Saturday, 4/10, 10:00 AM

Friend's of Night People 5k, Buffalo NY, Sunday, 4/11, 10:00 AM

Upcoming Ultras:

Summer Beast of Burden

Oil Creek 100

Local Running Clubs:

Bond Lake Athletic Club

Checkers Athletic Club

Interesting Blogs To Check Out:
Run Dangerously
Charlie Engle

Ultra Running Insights

Spring Is Here - Runners Start Your Gardens

2010-03-28T06:17:00.009-04:00

Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!" - Robin Williams

Time to shed the winter layers and put on the shorts and singlets. Time to feel the warm sun on your soul. Time to start the runners garden.

What do you grow in a runners garden? Anything that will make you a stronger runner.

Here are my suggestions:
(For growing instructions, click on the link for each vegetable.)

Hops - an essential ingredient for brewing the healthy, protein loaded Tarahumara Mexican corn beer called tesguino. Beer and running, it just doesn't get any better than that.
Radishes - Easy to grow. Lots of antioxidants. Low in calories, high in Vitamin C. Vitamins C and E have been shown to prevent metabolic damage in extreme athletes (nut job runners). Check out article at Science Daily.com.

Chia - powerful superfood, you can add it to any drink or dish. An energy booster with disease fighting properties. Also great for staying hydrated. Buy yourself a good pepper grinder and season everything you eat with ground Chia seed.
French Beans -Plenty of fiber and protein. Rich in iron to boost your energy level. Good source of Vitamin C for the immune system. Contains riboflavin, which can ease migraine headaches. Also rumored to have musical properties - perfect for when you want to run alone.

Sunflowers - The seeds are a great source of protein, vitamins E, B1 and B5, zinc, magnesium, fiber and healthy fats.
Tomatoes - Contains Lycopene, a vital anti-oxidant that fights cancerous cell formation.
Lettuce - good source of vitamin K. Romaine lettuce is the best of lettuce, excellent source of vitamins A, B1, B2, and C, folic acid, manganese and chromium.
Peppers - Rich in vitamins A, C and K. Great antioxidants, also good for reducing inflammations.
Sweet Potatoes - Perfect for longs runs. Keeps you full longer, rich in potassium and Vitamin C. Also helps metabolism, fights diseases and has anti-inflammatory properties.
Spaghetti - I have been unable to find any information on growing spaghetti in the garden as of this date but I am diligently working on it. A runner can never have too much pasta.

Remember - you are what you eat.

Dine from the Runners Garden if you want to be a healthy, happy nut job runner

OR

Eat from a certain unnamed fast food joint if you would prefer to rot on your living room couch with your remote control till they have to haul your super sized ass out the window on a crane.

The choice is yours.

Upcoming Events In The Area:

Bunny Hop 5k - East Aurora, Saturday, April 3rd, 10:30 AM
Haiti Relief 5k Run and Walk - Delaware Park, Saturday, April 10th, 9:30 AM
Memorial Miles 5k - Hilbert College Hamburg, Saturday, April 10th, 10:00 AM

2010 Nut Job Ultras On The Slate:
Beast of Burden - August date not official yet.
Oil Creek 100 - October 16, 2010 (Six local nut jobs registered so far)

Local Running Clubs:

Bond Lake

Checkers

These are a few of my favorite blogs:

Barefoot Ted's Adventures

Run Dangerously

Towpath Runners Journey
Charlie Engle's Blog

- If you have a race, running club or running blog you would like included in this newsletter, email me at sherigraz@verizon.net

And as always, all comments and suggestions are welcome :)

Eat, run and be happy.

Einstein and Running

2010-03-21T06:05:00.001-04:00

" You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat." - Albert Einstein

Okay, so you're running a very, very long race. You pull it's tail in Lockport and his head is meowing at Oil Creek. Is this what Einstein meant?

Who knows what Einstein meant. He spent an awful lot of time alone in his basement. That's not good for anybody.

What I'm trying to say is that ultra running is a strange animal.

When one of the nut job runners first tried explaining to me why he preferred ultras over marathons I thought he was crazy (and I was right), but after witnessing a middle of the night snowstorm ultra with the three nut job amigos, I started to see the light.

The light turned out to be a headlamp, but still, an understanding had been reached.

Ultras are more than just a very, very long run. They are a spiritual event. A freeze frame in whatever it is that this temporary lifetime is all about.

Every moment, every thought and every physical feeling is suddenly very real. Your every twitch is felt. Your every emotion is experienced.

Why do people run ultras?

Maybe it's because they love to pull the tail of life and see how it feels.

Long live the Nut Job Ultra Runners!

This weeks events:

Mar 28 Sunday 9:00 AM Bemus Point 5K

Mar 28 Sunday 9:30 AM Around The Bay, 30K Run, 30K Walk, 5K

Ultras on the Slate for The Nut Job Runners:

Summer Beast of Burden - August date not official yet

Oil Creek 100
Saturday October 16th, 2010

Coming In October:

Second Installment of Nut Jobs Fables - "The Cannibal Meets his Match"

Cannibal faces off against a hungry eight hundred pound black bear at Pennsylvania Ultra. His only defense is a bell around his neck.

Baba The Freak and Raja Runalot finally get their revenge against their life long nemesis.

Sneak Preview Excerpt:

"Ring your bell at it," taunted Baba.

"Squeal like a pig," Raja shouted.

A high spirited banjo duel echoed through the hills on that fated night in the backwoods of PA.

The Ides Of March - A Run To Remember

2010-03-14T06:27:00.003-04:00

"It is easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to find those who are willing to endure pain with patience." - Julius Caesar

Every year the dedicated Rome Hash House Harriers celebrate the Ides of March with a toga run in the streets of Rome where Julius Caesar was killed.

What psychotic runner doesn't love another reason to get out and run in bad weather? Especially when there is alcohol and bedsheets involved.

Calling all nut job runners

Are you up for a toga run in honor of Caesars assassination?

This could be the start of a whole new tradition in Lockport.

"The Running Of The Togas On The Towpath."

Close your eyes and visualize the wet and windy miles along the Erie Canal in full Toga attire, with a beer inspired commemoration of Caesars assassination afterward. Toga Tent Party!

How many miles?

Well, Caesar was assassinated March 15th, 44 BC, so I'm thinking the Mid-level Nut Job Runners could do a 15 miler and the Nut Job Ultra Freaks could go for the 44.

Special Note

Enthusiasm and participation in this event will be remembered at the end of each year when the "Nut Job Of The Year" award is decided.

What do you think?

This is just an idea in its initial conception. All opinions and suggestions are welcome.

Upcoming Events:

Bengal 5k Run and walk
Saturday, March 20 at 9:30 a.m.

Race Course

The 3.1 mile course (certified NY99007AM) is fast and flat. In-line skates, strollers, and dogs are not allowed on the course. View Race Course

The Cannibal and The Freak - A Parable

2010-03-07T04:53:00.010-05:00

"I believe that if ever I had to practice cannibalism, I might manage if there were enough tarragon around." - James Beard (1903-1985)

The First Installment of Nut Job's Fables:

The Cannibal and The Freak

The worst storm of the winter had decided to schedule itself for the day of the ultra.

Baba the Freak was at the halfway aide station of the winter ultra discussing the course conditions with Raja Runalot.

Gingerly, Baba removed his sneaker from his foot. His ankle was swollen and purple.

Suddenly he felt a presence behind him.

He turned and was startled to see The Cannibal just inches away, staring down at Babas' foot.

There was an eerie gleam in The Cannibals eyes.

"Nice toes," said The Cannibal.

"They're getting blisters," Baba replied.

"Chop them off and save them in a jar," suggested the Cannibal. "You could keep them as a race souvenier."

Raja held up the peanut butter and jelly sandwich he was eating. "Better grab something to eat guys. Still a long way to go."

The cannibal looked down at Babas' toes again. "Yes, eating right is half the battle of Ultras, isn't it?"

Raja nodded. "And taking in enough fluids.

"I heard once of a brutal three day ultra in the desert when two of the runners got hopelessly lost," said The Cannibal. "One of the runners actually collapsed and died. There wasn't a soul or hope in sight. It's rumored that the surviving runner cut off the dead runners' toes and put them in a baggie. He nibbled on them as he blundered through the night, to keep his strength up. He ended up winning the race!"

"That's insanity," said Baba.

"Insanity is a little strong," said the Cannibal. "I would label it as more of a slight social deviancy."

"Huh?' Baba the freak asked

Raja Runalot knew the cannibal well and chose to walk away.

"You know how it is when the run turns into a death march," said the Cannibal. "Anything that might help you make it through . . ." His voice trailed off as his eyes gazed into a future Baba didn't care to see.

The Cannibal moved in closer to get a better look at Babas' banged up foot.

Baba quickly put his sock and shoe back on. "Okay then, gotta go." said Baba as he put on his bush hat, forgetting that he hadn't refilled his water bottle or grabbed anything to eat.

The Cannibal watched the limping figure disappear into the night. Although it was dark and the snow was falling, he could still make out Babas' faint foot steps in the snow.

The cannibal smiled and grabbed a ho-ho for the road.

Baba knew he was being followed. Every time he looked behind him he could see the light of a headlamp bobbing in the night. Although there were thirty five registered runners, and it could be any one of them back there, Baba knew it was the Cannibal.

He needed to keep up his pace if he wanted to beat him back to civilization but he could feel the strength draining from his body. His water bottle was almost empty. He kicked himself for not refueling at the aide station.

His stomach growled loudly in the cold, still night.

Staggering through the uneven path with snow blindness and dehydration, Baba could feel The Cannibal on his heels. Five more miles till the next aide station. He'd never make it.

His thoughts wandered back to Nam. Looking back he realized the headlamp was getting closer. "It's Charlie," he muttered to himself.

Going into survival mode, he turned his headlamp off and ducked into the bushes, smearing snow on his face for camouflage.

He held his breath as The Cannibal came into view. The Cannibal slowed down as he neared where Baba was hiding. The snow was falling heavier now and Babas tracks were covered over, but still, the Cannibal somehow sensed his prey was near.

Baba held his breath.

The Cannibal stopped and listened intently.

A deer bounded across the towpath and out of sight.

The Cannibal watched the deer disappear and finally headed on into the night himself.

When The Cannibal was a safe distance away, Baba came back out of the bushes and hobbled slowly along until he finally reached the next aide station.

They offered him a cup of Pepsi. He ignored the paper cup and grabbed the two liter bottle instead.

With the cumbersome bottle of Pepsi in one hand and a peanut butter sandwich in the other, he limped on into the night.

The Pepsi and peanut butter gave him enough energy to make it to the finish line.

Fifty miles in fifteen hours. What a night.

He limped over to the trailer to get his finishers metal and t-shirt. The Cannibal was there waiting. He slapped Baba on the back, nearly knocking him over.

"Good job," said the Cannibal.

"Thanks," Baba mumbled.

Their eyes met. The Cannibal smiled and burped.

There were two DNF's that night. Did they not finish or did they not survive?

Moral of the Story (there's always a moral) -

"Eat or be eaten."

Congratulations Beast of Burden Runners

2010-02-28T15:25:00.001-05:00

Congratulations to all of the Beast of Burden Runners. You are one tough bunch of nut jobs. The weather was insane, the towpath was terrible and the day was long and sometimes lonely but you got the job done!

Bob and Clyde finished their 51.8 miles and Roger completed his 100, which once again proves, when the going gets nuts, the nuts get going.

Here are a few photos of the race.

Putting the Beast to Bed

2010-02-21T08:06:00.001-05:00

"There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more." - Woody Allen

You've built a base, you've trained, you've tapered . Now it's time to go to sleep.

Most normal adults need 7 - 8 hours of sleep a night to receive maximum benefits. Mutants need only about 5 or 6 hours.

A good nights' sleep will reward you with sharper cognitive functions in the morning - decision making, reasoning and memory. For the big race this translates into smarter running, knowing when to refuel and not getting lost.

So how do you go to sleep when you're all keyed up?

Have a light snack - 1/2 a turkey or peanut butter sandwich with a glass of warm milk, perhaps.
Get rid of all distractions. Keep your bedroom dark and quiet.
Shake out any lingering stress. Toss the day's pressure out the window.

Close your eyes and take deep, slow breaths. Visualize how perfect tomorrow will be.

See you at the race. Good night everybody. Zzzzzzzzzzz . . . . .

Madness And Ultra Running

2010-02-14T07:21:00.003-05:00

"It's astounding, time is fleeting
 Madness takes it's toll
 But listen closely, not for very much longer
 I've got to keep control."


- from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show"

"It isn't a race until the nut jobs arrive."

The trouble with being a nut job is that you are constantly signing up for madness.

Watching my friends train for the Beast of Burden Winter 100 ultra, I am in awe of what they are about to go through. I'm not crazy enough to do it myself (yet), but I am definitely in awe of their voluntary madness.

In an attempt to help them, I've been cruising the internet looking for great sights to inspire and strengthen them. Here is what I came up with:

Strength Training Exercises - Tabata
(Clyde suggestion)

Mind Training Exercises

Sanity Test

Just remember, when the going gets nuts, who cares.
You're a nut job. Madness looks good on you.

Running In The Winter With Nut Jobs

2010-02-07T06:58:00.001-05:00

This post is for the reluctant runners who keep getting yanked from their warm, cozy nest by some crazed nut job insisting on running outside in the winter. (See picture above for example of nut jobs.)

Below are a few winter running tips to help you survive in the nut job environment:

Tight is Right - wear tight fitting clothes to keep the heat in. Top it off with a good wind jacket and the toughest mental attitude you can pretend to have.

Vaseline - Put it on your lips and nose and any other exposed part of your face. Also spread some on your knuckles and finger tips before putting your gloves on. It's a great insulator and protection from the wind on those mean and nasty days. And who doesn't look good with Vaseline rubbed all over them?

Duct Tape - I've read that duct taping your shoes for extreme cold runs is a good thing. Haven't tried it yet, but I'm throwing a roll into my running bag. Duct tape has many uses. You really shouldn't go anywhere without it. For some examples, see Innovative Uses For Duct Tape.

Toe Warmers - They're not just for your toes. Buy the kind that have adhesive on them so you can stick them right onto your water bottle. "Frozen water" syndrome will be a thing of the past.

Also, if your nut job running friend is training for an ultra and eying you up for companionship on the long runs (20 - 40 miles in the snow and wind) it wouldn't hurt to sign up for a survival course at the local YMCA.

Check out the upcoming Beast Of Burden Winter 100 and you'll understand what I mean.

To Be A Runner

2010-01-31T05:42:00.000-05:00

Running is a big question mark that's there each and every day. It asks you, "Are you going to be a wimp or are you going to be strong today?" - Peter Maher

It isn't easy convincing yourself to go out for a run when the temperature is below zero. But you have to go out there, you tell yourself. The only thing required of a runner is that you run.

Hill repeats, track workouts, long runs in brain numbing wind chills. Anything to get better, stronger, faster. Anything to be a runner.

There's a fine line between dedication and stupidity. Most runners don't know the difference.

How much is enough?

How much is too much?

Did you go out and run today? That's really the only question that needs answering.

If you have a pile of wet, sweaty clothes in your laundry room at the end of the day and your sneakers are caked in mud, then you can go to sleep knowing you're a runner.

And that's a good thing.

Eat, Run and be Healthy

2010-01-24T06:30:00.002-05:00

Sacred cows make the best hamburger” - Mark Twain

I love eating. I run so I can eat. I eat so I can run.

Anything that will help me keep up with my nutjob running friends is worth trying.

Super foods, core training, dark beer - whatever it takes to swallow all of those miles before they swallow me.

Today we will be running one loop of The Beast (25 miles).

Ingredients for today's long run: Chia seeds, Jack Lalanne Juicer, 5 bean soup.

Directions: Mix chia seeds with fresh juice. Let stand for ten minutes, then mix again. Chill for half hour, then drink before the run.

Have 5 Bean Soup simmering in crockpot. It will be a warm welcome home after the run and great for refueling the body.

Best wishes in your training to all of the Beast of Burden runners. February 27th is waiting for you with baited breath.

Beware the angry mule.

Bringing The Run Inside

2010-01-17T05:45:00.002-05:00

"There's no such thing as bad weather, just soft people."

- Bill Bowerman

Winter running is great for thickening the blood, building endurance and just plain toughening up, but sometimes you need a break.

There's no shame in doing an inside workout now and then, no matter what Bill Bowerman says. After all, isn't that why you bought all of that equipment?

Constant running in the snow and ice can be tough on your body. Give your knees and hips a break.

The elliptical is easy on the joints and will give you a great workout.

For cardio workouts and endurance training, try the sparkpeople site.

Of course, eventually you do need to go back outside, especially if you're training for something completely insane like the Beast of Burden.

But who would be crazy enough to do something like that?

Canal Fever

2010-01-10T06:10:00.009-05:00

"Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it."
— Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

The signs were there. It was so obvious once you knew what to look for.

It explained why Cliff insisted on marking the trail beforehand with 40 lb cannonballs. And why Rajiv felt it was okay to run a 100 miler in a tutu.

They had Canal Fever- the disturbing mental state from running too many winter miles along the Erie Canal.

Some say the ghosts come right out of the water to greet you as you pass mile 50.

Baba watched the meltdown of his life long running buddies and smiled.

Perhaps this race was winnable after all.

“Baba, I need your opinion,” Cliff said, wild eyed, at mile 53. “I’ve been seeing ghosts for the last couple of miles. They want me to swim in the canal with them. Do you think I should?”

“Sure,” said Baba “If you can’t trust a ghost, who can you trust?“

He watched Cliff do an Olympic somersault dive into the icy canal and float away.

As Rajiv and Baba continued down the trail, Rajiv looked worried. “Hey Baba," he whispered. "Can I ask you something?”

“Sure Raj. What's up?”

Rajiv ducked from a forty foot imaginary bird flying overhead. “It’s that damn pterodactyl,” he said. “I can’t seem to shake him."

Baba nodded knowingly. He pointed to a few cannonballs Cliff had planted at mile 54. “Why don’t you run with one of those. You can throw it at the bird if it gets too aggressive."

Rajiv looked at Baba as if he were a genius.

“Thanks,” said Rajiv, adjusting his tutu as he picked up one of the cannonballs. The weight of it gave him a feeling of safety. “Maybe I should take two. Just in case.”

“Good thinking,” said Baba as he ran ahead, leaving Rajiv to struggle with his balls.

There was a gurgling sound from the water. “Hey Cliff,” Baba shouted as he ran by. “This isn’t a triathlon, you know. but have a good swim anyway.”

"Gurgle, gurgle, aaaaahhhh," said Cliff with a great deal of emotion.

“Only 42 more miles to go,” Baba thought, laughing aloud. “And I still feel pretty damn good.”

Up ahead a giant drooling mule waited for him, gnashing her sharp, jagged teeth.

The clouds seemed to be forming words -

“Beware the Canal Fever.”

Have you registered for the Beast of Burden yet?

To subscribe to this post, send a blank email to sherigraz@verizon.net with "subscribe" in the subject line. A new post will be emailed to you every Sunday.

Crunch Running

2010-01-03T06:33:00.002-05:00

Crunch, crunch, Crunch, crunch.

That was the background cadence as we ran a half loop of the upcoming Beast of Burden Ultra.

Twelve and a half miles along the blustery Erie Canal.

The crunching sound I don’t mind. It’s the "crunch, crunch, splash" that I don’t like.

Running in snow and ice and whatever else the day decides to serve up is what Crunch Running is all about.

Learning to stay upright through quickly changing winter conditions. Adjusting your stride, keeping your form, and shaking off the ice puddles.

As I train with the Three Amigos (Nutty, Nuttier, and Nuttiest) for their upcoming Ultra, I can only image what they will go through on February 27th.

It's going to be one hell of a run.

Or as Dan "G-Man" Grayson said of the VHTRC Trac Run: "The only safe place to be during this run, is someplace else."

NutJob Of The Year

2009-12-27T05:20:00.002-05:00

With the New Year almost here, it's time for the prestigious First Annual Nutjob of the Year award. There are a lot of "interesting" people out there on the running trails. How do you narrow it down to just one?

Basically, this award is all about the person that loves running so much, it turns them into an absolute nutjob.

To attain Sainthood you must perform at least one miracle.

To become Nutjob of the Year you must have performed at least one mentally unstable running feat.

Not having the sense to come in out of the rain is a start, but there has to be more. Do you think of a twenty miler in a blizzard as "fun"? You're getting warmer. Did you ever think it was okay to "run through" a stress fracture? You're on your way.

There are many paths that lead to the land of Nutjobs. I salute all of you for your courage, endurance and insanity throughout the year. This award is all about you.

And this year's winner is . . .

Clyde Ferguson!

Was it running the Ultra through gastronomy problems that earned him the award? Or how about living off of nuts and twigs on a Chi Running weekend with no beer or meat?

No, it was running the Philadelphia Marathon as a bandit. Who runs a marathon as a bandit???

Clyde Ferguson, Nutjob of the year, that's who.

Congratulations Clyde. You're going to have lots of competition for next year's award. The Winter 100 Beast of Burden is looking to have more than a few contenders.

Just remember the nutjob creed - "If it ain't crazy, I ain't doin' it".

Run Long, Run Strong, Run Happy

2009-12-20T06:03:00.024-05:00

"In 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.' Jack Nicholson is trying to pull out the drinking trough and use it to smash one of the barred windows to escape. One of the other patients said: 'Don't be stupid, you can't do that.' Jack replied, 'Yes I can, anything is possible.' He strained his guts out working at it for a few minutes with the veins sticking out of his neck. Of course he couldn't move the bloody thing. They all said: 'We told you that you couldn't do it.' Nicholson looked at them and said: 'At least I tried, you bastards.'

(quoted from Chris Wardlaw, 2:11 Australian marathoner. (Will-Weber's "Mind Over Matter" chapter.)

The Winter 100 is being held on February 27th in Western New York. Even if it wasn't being held in the dead of Winter it would still be a huge challenge. 50 to 100 miles. That's a lot of miles, no matter what the weather.

My favorite nutjob and I ran seven miles today. My journal will say "long run". Nutjob #1 will call it a short run. You say potato, I say french fries with ketchup.

Seven miles is a sneeze to N.J. and his friends. When they head out the door for a run in the sun, the moon is their guiding light back home.

Although distance running is not one of my stronger points, I promised my running partner that I would keep him company while he trains for his newest obsession.

How do you train for an Ultra?

One step at a time, and don't forget to laugh.

"The journey is the reward." - Chinese Proverb

Baby It's Cold Outside

2009-12-13T06:00:00.003-05:00

It's 16 degrees outside (minus 2000 with the wind chill factored in). I get home from work, cold and tired, ready to sink into Warm & Toasty Land.

Then the phone rings.

It's nutjob #1.

"Let's go for a run," he says.

"Baby it's cold out there."

"It's cold weather fun."

"Baby there's ice out there."

"The yak trax are here."

"I really can't go."

"You're going."

"But it's so warm inside."

"Let's go."

"Baby, it's cold outside."

And out the door we go.

Nobody ever said hanging with Nutjobs would be easy.

Reminder to the extreme nutjobs (and you know who you are) there's still time to register for the Winter 100.

Yikes!

Why an Ultra?

2009-12-06T06:00:00.010-05:00

Upstate New York, Dead of Winter, 100 miles.

What are they - CRAZY???!!!!

Apparently, 26.2 miles isn't enough of a challenge to some people (nutjob runners). 50 or 100 miles in the dead of winter is more their style. Yes, people have already signed up for the Beast of Burden Winter 100.

There is always the element of uncertainty when you begin any kind of a race. But there are at least 2 things you can count on with this one. It WILL be cold out and you WILL be running with crazy people.

So if you're "hard enough, rough enough, rich enough, and not too blind to see" (Rolling Stones, Beast of Burden") then hop onto the Lockport Towpath, February 27, 2010 and see if you're Beast Worthy. But be sure to pre-register.

Getting To Know You - A New Running Route

2009-11-29T18:00:00.005-05:00

"Getting to know you,
Getting to know all about you.
Getting to like you,
Getting to hope you like me."

From "The King and I"

Out the door and down the road we go, past Baba Marina, with the water off Lake Sheri twinkling in the sun, we head toward the cemetery.

There's nothing like getting to know a new route to make your running feel fresh again. The ups, the downs and the loops back around. The camber of the road and the fellow comrades along the way. It feels so adventurous.

Eventually the new route will turn into an old reliable friend and that's a good thing too.

And speaking of something new, check out The Winter 100 Ultra.

Upcoming blogs will feature my nutjob friends training for this "only for the totally insane" event.

Who's Running In Your Shoes?

2009-10-11T06:00:00.004-04:00

Sneakers lots and lots of sneakers.

I just finished moving. As I'm unpacking boxes and totes and bags, I keep coming upon more stashes of sneakers. How did I accumulate so many of them? I own a ridiculous amount of sneakers.

Looking into my hallway, you would think 20 or 30 people live here, but it is just my cat and I. And the cat doesn't wear sneakers.

What do you do with the overflow? Donate

There are many places that would love to have your gently used shoes - gentle? running? I've never run with a gentle group of runners, but anyway - here are a few great places to recycle your abundance of sneakers:

http://www.nikereuseashoe.com/

The Nike site has a great "Where It Is" feature. Just type in US and your zip code and they will find a drop off location near you. If the shoes are too worn down to run in, they will grind them up for other uses.

http://oneworldrunning.blogspot.com/

This site is for donating to runners in need all over the world. A Kenyon could someday be running in your shoes.

I can't run a 15 minute 5k, but maybe someday my sneakers will.

More Hills (Part 2 of Running Hills In Western New York)

2009-08-22T13:05:00.025-04:00

Hills

I think that I shall never swill
A beer as lovely as a hill.

A hill whose hungry path is steep
And makes my poor knees want to weep;

A hill that calls me up to play,
And makes me want to kneel and pray;

A hill that calls in summers' heat

Come on up, this can't be beat;

Upon whose bosom snow may lay,

or rain or wind or hail today;

Hills are run by nuts like you
So come on up, it's what you do.

By Sheri Graziano (With apologies to Joyce Kilmer)

What do nutjob runners love more than hills? More hills!

Here is another place to check out in the Western New York Area if you're interested in running hills (and if you're a nutjob, I know you are).

Lewiston Reservoir Hills

Location - Reservoir State Park Rtes 265 & 31 Lewiston , NY 14092

http://www.nysparks.com/parks/info.asp?parkId=112

This is a great place to do hill repeats. It also features a large soccor field with some trail running on the side. Just don't run too close to the Water Authority building. The guards are armed and serious!

Next Week - Pow Hill

http://www.zvents.com/lewiston-ny/venues/show/735802-new-york-power-authority

Running The Hills Of Western New York

2009-08-16T06:19:00.007-04:00

Nut Job Runners all have one thing in common - they love hills.

"Hills are your friend."

"Hills are a speed workout in disguise."

They love hills. They seeks them out. They run up and down them. They praise them for making them stronger and then they run up and down them again.

Listed below are just a few of the great places to run hills in Western New York.

Bond Lake

This place has it all - hills, trails, and a great running club - The Bond Lake At hletic Club. More nutjobs than any runner looking for company could hope for.

Directions: From Buffalo: I-190 north to Niagara Falls. Continue on to Lewiston.

At Lewiston-take Rt. 104 east to Dickersonville Road. Turn right-go up escarpment-turns into Lower Mountain Road-continue east until you see parking lot, ski hill, and sign for Bond Lake Park.

The Gorge, Niagara Falls, NY

Devil's Hole State Park is located north of Niagara Falls, New York and overlooks the Niagara River Gorge and the lower Whirlpool rapids.

If you are looking for a workout with a lot of variety, these trails are for you.

Location: Robert Moses Parkway, 1 mile north of Whirlpool State Park.

Check out Onigiaga Trails.

This is just part one of Running The Hills Of Western New York. Check back for the next installment. So many hills, so little time.

How To Win Your Age Group, The Nut Job Way

2009-08-02T06:00:00.000-04:00

So, you're happy that you're getting your miles in but sometimes you want just a little bit more out of running. Like leaving the post-race party with a medal hanging around your neck.

How do you do it?

There are many ways to bring home the medal. Here are a few suggestions to try. Hope they prove helpful in your quest for that shiny thing around your neck.

1. Go to races with a low turnout. Less competition, more chances to win.

2. Cover the area around your mouth with whip cream and snarl as you run past your frightened competition (inspired by Carol, nutjob #4, on how to clear a grocery store aisle on a Saturday afternoon).

3. Train in terrible weather - become know as "the person who can run in anything".

4. Train like hell and run really fast on race day. (radical way to do it, but very effective if you don't mind the hard work).

Just remember, winning doesn't happen overnight. Be patient and keep plugging away at it.

In the meantime, remember, somebody always has to be last. If you are temporarily that person, make the best of it. Get to know the ambulance driver. Enjoy the breathing room around you.

Wherever you are in the pack, enjoy, embrace and do your best.

So there you go, my suggestions on how to win your age group. Good luck and be sure to let me know if you have any suggestions of your own.

Run Like An Elephant

2009-07-26T04:00:00.001-04:00

Elephants are great runners. According to research recorded on http://elephant.elehost.com/About_Elephants/about_elephants.htm, elephants have a surprisingly low ratio of muscle to body mass. They have been recorded as running as fast as 15 mph.

I can't do that.

What is their secret?

They have great running form. Elephants combine the low-impact of walking with the spring-like step of a run. Keep in mind, the average elephant weighs about 9,000 lbs (give or take a thousand).

So no matter what your weight or how long your trunk is, you too can be a great runner if you pay attention to your running form.

Depositing My Miles

2009-07-22T18:00:00.000-04:00

When the miles get hard I think of the running expression, putting the miles in the bank. If I keep making these weekly deposits, come Marathon Day, I get to spend it all.

I love to spend.

I've found that the best way to accumulate miles is to do it with friends. If your friends are nutjobs, even better. Nutjobs are ready anytime, anywhere, for any mileage.

To get your miles in, you just keep plugging along and eventually - sometimes miraculously - you get the job done.

Some days go better than others.

When the big day comes, all that will matter at the starting line is A) Are you healthy? and B) Did you get your training miles in?

If you can say yes to both of those questions, you've got it made.

So right now we're just depositing our miles - fast miles, slow miles, hill miles, road miles, strong miles, weird miles, ugly miles, wild miles.

Miles, miles, miles. Just get me to the finish line on time.