Showing posts with label Nut Jobs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nut Jobs. Show all posts

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Guest Post - The Cannibal

Special thanks to the Cannibal for the first installment of his Summer Beast Story.  Hey Cannibal,  I forgot to ask, what's the title?



Part I

The Cannibal's eyes slowly fluttered open.  First one and then the other.  His other senses began assessing the situation.  How long had he been asleep by the side of "Clinton's Ditch" in the mud, weeds and assorted goose crap?  He knew that it was probably only twenty minutes but he felt scads better.  True, his legs still screamed with built up lactic acid and his lower back ached from an old kayak mishap, but these were minor inconveniences that would disappear when he ran the last twenty eight miles to cross the finish of the Summer beast 100 mile Run.

As the Cannibal lay in the weeds by the side of the water he sensed something wasn't quite right.  He knew he had a forty five minute lead on Babba so that wasn't it. Something just didn't feel right. There was the sound of the canal water lapping against the rocks on the shore and a bit of light from a waning crescent moon that gave just a hint of visibility to the pitch black surroundings.  He could hear the unsure crunch, crunch of an approaching runner on the Towpath trail.  You could just tell from the uneven sound of the footsteps that he was a 5K Ultra wannabe.  Nothing rhythmic in his gait as his mind wandered amid the pain and darkness.  His glaring headlamp was also a dead giveaway that this was his first attempt at the distance.  As he approached you could hear the faint strains of the Rocky Theme playing on his IPOD.  Jesus, another rookie mistake!

Wait a minute, thought the Cannibal, canal water lapping against the rocks?  The canal water doesn't lap against the rocks out here!  There was no wind and with only a four mile per hour current the canal is usually noiseless.  Not unless. . . .  the hair on the back of his neck was standing up as he moved his head slowly toward the dark channel.

Mr. 5K clomped by, oblivious to the hidden Cannibal, his head bobbing to the IPOD tunes.  he never heard or flinched when a slimy tentacled figure slipped from the inky water enveloping him in its wiggling suction cupped arms.  Horrible sucking sounds and a mild struggle ensued.  The chaos didn't last more than fifteen seconds and the dark figure slithered back into the canal.  it appeared to be swimming west, its appetite partially satiated.


TO BE CONTINUED . . .

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Good Karma, Bad Karma

To different minds, the same world is a hell or a heaven." - Ralph Waldo Emerson 
 
When the karma is good the running is good.

For instance, whenever I am on vacation I seem to run better.  Is it because I am well rested?  Probably.  But another part of it is karma.  Being away from knife wielding workmates is like stripping the shackles from my feet.

There is a type of people I like to call "Black Clouds".  Their glass is always half empty and they see nothing but doom ahead.  They will try and drag you down into their dark, depressing world whenever they can.

Want to improve your running?  Surround yourself with nut job runners.  They are on the whole a very positive, upbeat bunch and will take you to mental heights usually reserved for angels and mental patients.


Lighter mind, lighter feet.

Upcoming Ultras:




Links To Check Out:

 

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Secret Training Session Exposed

While running the Erie Canal Tow Path the other day, the Cannibal mentioned his upcoming duathalon in Wilson, NY.

Baba the Freak grew strangely quiet.  I wondered if the rumors were true. 
I had heard from an unnamed source that  Baba was doing some secret training of his own. 

If the Cannibal was doing a duathalon, the story had it, then a triathalon it was for the Freak.  Nothing like a little running rivalry among friends. 

I talked with Baba's Swimming coach to get some answers.
The conversation went something like this:

Me:  "Hey Odie, What's going on?"
Odie:  "Pant, pant, drool . .  arf, arf."
Me:  "Is it true that Baba is secretly training for a Triathalon behind the Cannibals back?"
Odie:  "Arf, arf, pant, drool."

With Odie clamming up tighter than a . . well . . . tighter than  a clam, I decided to do a little photo investigation of my own.

 
As you can see, the Freak is definitely up to something.  I'm thinking a few Woofie treats might loosen Coach Odie's lips.

Stay tuned for breaking news.

Upcoming Ultras:
Summer Beast Of Burden - August 21 - 10:00 AM, Lockport NY
Oil Creek 100 Trail Runs - October 16, Oil Creek State Park PA

Upcoming Road Races:
Old Home Days - July 15th - 6:30 PM, Williamsville NY YMCA
Subaru 4 mile News Runner Of The Year Race - July 16th - 7:00 PM, Buffalo NY

Links I Like: